"Some ADHD people are extremely intelligent, others have average or even below average IQ. Some come from supportive homes, others come from dysfunctional families and had to raise themselves. All of these factors affect the impact of ADHD on the life of the individual. The child genius who has supportive parents will be better able to compensate for his or her ADHD. Many ADHD adults have learned to hide their cluttered desks behind closed office doors; they learn to look attentive even when they have no idea what has just been said. These and other survival skills help to cloak their ADHD. But, eventually, even the child genius finds that coping skills only go so far. Frustration becomes more apparent as the gap between ability and actual performance grows. After years of being able to get by on innate intelligence and other abilities, these undiagnosed ADHD adults realize that there is nothing left in their bag of tricks. Research on ADHD adults illustrates the scope of the problem. Twenty-five percent of ADHD participants in the study did not graduate from high school versus 1% of the participants who did not have ADHD." -Do You Have Adult ADHD? Why Diagnosis Is Critical | ADDitude - Adults and Children with ADD ADHD

    --- I'm learning that I've developed some coping mechanisms over the past few years to hide or make my shortcomings seem less extreme/embarrassing/pathetic to other people and myself. I didn't even realize this was happening. Sometimes these coping mechanisms can be good. For example, as long as it doesn't interfere with you're overall performance, ways of hiding your symptoms might be better for your employment.

     But unfortunately, these tricks can prevent us from getting the help we need, when we need it, instead of after we've already caused huge problems for ourselves. I know that if I had recognized my ADHD symptoms sooner, I may have finished high school sooner. (In hindsight, Florida Virtual School was probably not the best idea..at least not without my teachers' knowledge of my ADHD). I would have done much better my first year in college. And my social life would not have been impacted as much as it has by me putting things off and being forgetful.

    Thinking about & discussing these things is not throwing yourself a pity party, but instead a way of realizing that your past failings without treatment were not completely your fault and eventually learning to forgive yourself. (See my previous post about being hard on ourselves for more.)

    I also want to note, especially for my new followers that don't know much about this, that people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder experience varying levels of symptoms from minor to severe and not everyone experiences the same symptoms. Too often than not, this condition (as well as many other disorders) are trivialized by those that either don't have the condition or those with only minor symptoms that don't need much treatment. The stigmas associated with mental illness and learning disabilities is slowly dissipating in our society, but not fast enough.

         P.S. I need to take my own advice and put everything I've learned to use in    my life. Unfortunately, doing this is much more difficult than you'd think and I'm sure my fellow ADDer's & those with depression or anxiety symptoms can relate. It's okay to always be a work in progress. Just try to keep working at it.

I've moved! You can find 'Look, a Squirrel' at look-a-squirrel.tumblr.com. I'm still posting here for a little while for your convenience, but I'll be switching over in the next month. You can view the blog without having a Tumblr account but I'd love it if you would follow me so I can get to know you. :)

   Throughout the day I have varying levels of motivation. It's so inconsistent and is influenced by so many variables: random stresses of the day, when was the last time I ate, where I am in my cycle, how much sleep I got the night before, how focused I am, and how depressed I feel.

   But then there's my overall level of motivation over the course of a week or two....or three.......or six...lollololol. No but seriously, my motivation just got up and left a few weeks ago. Nothing substantial has changed, but my motivation has. Sure, I'm dealing with the Physiology professor from HELL that makes me feel like I'm back in high school, but if anything that should keep me motivated not to "screw up" and have her on my case, right? (I can't believe I have a professor like this, this late in the game...She treats us all like we're failing whether we are or not and wants an explanation for any short coming...but then tells us she doesn't need to hear our personal business.......really?)
  I've been working on a post full of memes expressing my feelings during class. I'll share it as soon as I'm done.

   But anyways.... How do youget out of your 'no motivation rut?'

   So, I haven't been blogging for a while due to being busy with studying for finals, the holidays and all, but I'm back! I'm beginning a new semester in preparation for Nursing school and I feel like this is the first semester I'm actually going to be able to manage my symptoms and take charge of my grades towards the beginning and middle of the semester. 
   I've started semesters with similar feelings before, but not with the tools I've recently acquired to manage my symptoms and actually be able to learn. (What a concept!)

  Along with gaining back control of my grades I'm also recovering my self-esteem. (Slowly but surely.) Failing over and over again takes its toll after a while, especially when you feel as if you, and/or you actually are disappointing someone. But like that quote that talks about running a race (or something...can't remember): It's not how you do during the race that matters, but how you finish it.
  I've decided the direction I'm going to take this blog in a more personal direction. I'm still going to be posting resources and articles I've found, but I want to document my experiences in a brutally honest way for a few different reasons. First of all, not a lot of people really know what its like to have to deal with this on a daily basis. Secondly, ADD'ers all have varying symptoms and most have humerous quirks that we all like to joke about, but for those with serious and/or worsening symptoms, it's no joke. 
   I've found that explaining your symptoms to those in your life that may have never noticed nor known about your symptoms before, often don't take you seriously or don't understand the gravity/extent to which ADHD affects you life. This can be especially true if you weren't diagnosed when you were younger like me. It's also hard to talk about at first because you're admitting that you have a problem to people that have never known you to have this problem, and it can be hard to decide who to tell and who not to tell (a whole other issue in itself!).
   I want to talk about Adult ADHD in order to inform and/or help someone out there, but I also know that blogging about my experiences will help to remind me: 1) What I should be doing 2) Why I need to be doing it 3) That blogging about my experiences feels a lot better and helps me more than being hard on myself, just like many ADD'ers can be. 4) That everyone is a work in progress and I'm not alone.
   Everyone may come to this realization (or at least maybe they should) eventually, but I've come to realize that I'm not going to be the person I thought I'd be before, so I might as well start living for who I am now, than waiting for my life to change, trying to change things that can't be undone, or wishing some things had never happened Some people might find that depressing, but after you deal with that part of it(maybe grieving for your loss of family, friends, opportunities, or yourself), it's incredibly uplifting to know you can be something else. You don't have to be who you or other people thought you would be. 

   Warning: Results may vary......lololol.
So anyway......

   Blogging on a regular basis will keep me thinking about how I can improve on a regular basis. A way to keep me on track, should I fall of the wagon.

   So, towards the end of last semester, when I was killing myself trying to save my grades. I started using mindmaps to understand and organize certain Anatomy & Physiology topics. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to do a lot of them, so I did a couple of nice ones for bones and the nervous system.
   This semester, I'm started incorporating them into my note taking during lectures and at home. There are many different types and styles you can use to customize your notes for the way that YOUR mind works.
   I'm a very visual learner and I love to doodle, so my notes include lots of illustrations and colors to help me visualize the concepts. 
   A testament to the fact that I'm a visual and tactile learner is the fact that I aced all of my lab practicals in Anatomy, but struggled in the lecture exams. (Of course, I know now what I should have done then, but regardless, it takes me much longer to study information than most others.)